A incident I would like to share regarding my personal experience with intercultural differences was dinner at a Muslim friend's place. I was quite unaware of the dining habits at that time, probably because I was still young and rather ignorant of such affairs. Although it was only much to my embarrassment as my friend's family did not really mind, it occurred to me that we need to appreciate the cultures of the different racial groups, and not to assume that everyone else share the same habits as we do.
I asked for a fork and spoon, without realizing that my friend and his family were eating with their hands. Although my friend's mother stood up to get me the cutlery, I could sense that his father was rather displeased. I quickly apologized for my lack of manners and suggested that I would like to try and learn consume my meals with my hands like them. Well, it has always been my (queer) habit to use my left hand to eat, as I wanted to leave the master hand to handle emergencies like answering phone calls, etc in case they occurred unexpectedly during my meals. I guessed that was the last straw for my mis-doings, as my friend had to quickly tell me off after the dinner that I ought to use my right hand to eat always. Of course there were no hard feelings as I promptly apologized to the parents, who were not angered but yet shared with me a little more insight about Muslim dining habits.
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Dear Adrian,
ReplyDeleteMuslims are quite particular about using their right hand for everything as it is the 'cleaner' one. I myself have a tendency to use fork and spoon at weddings and the older people usually tell me off. But since my reason was that I did not want my hand smelling strongly of the food, I had to eventually use my hands.
I find your post very suitable for the topic. I hope that things did work out for you. Perhaps you could have elaborated more on other things you may have learnt during that day about the different cultural habits.
With regards,
Jihan Abdat
Hi adrian,
ReplyDeleteI dearly show my sympathy to you, on the fact that you made two mistakes in a row. Building further on Jihan's comment, I would add that some people have the perception that eating with bare hands is unhygienic.
Some muslims are aware of this fact and would take great insult if one would eat with forks/spoons at muslim parties. They could translate this action as a signal indicating that you view their dining etiquette as unhygienic.
Regards,
Christopher
Dear Adrian,
ReplyDeleteI guess most of us have not been exposed to other cultures which have resulted in us not knowing what to do in situations like this.
However, I am very relieved that the family was actually very friendly and willing to share with you with regards to their culture. It goes to show that people are actually quite understanding of the multi-racial environment in Singapore.
Yet i do agree with Jihan that you could have touched on the other things which you learnt or how they managed to help you understanding their culture.
Best regards
Ying Hui
Dear Adrian
ReplyDeleteIs it the responsibility of the person inviting you to a Muslim dinner to brief you on the dos and don'ts or is it your responsibility to find out more?
In other words, should we expect others to know or should we tell them of the appropriate behaviour?
Regards
Happy